Oh, the rain...

...FInally had my chance to get soaked in the rain this evening: the first time in forever that we had a downpour without also having the corresponding thunder and lightening! Not that we didn't have lots of that as well, earlier. *grins*
I was standing at the sink, washing strawberries, when I heard it really coming down...so off I dashed (I've got to be careful with my impetuousness, I get myself into trouble sometimes). It was coming down so hard, and I was running, so I could hardly see! Can you define "refreshing?" Oh wait, I just did.

Ecclesiastes chapter 3:1-8

King James Version

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
~~~~~~~~

Some pretty incredible verses here...and different parts of this passage will stand out to a person, depending on what they're going through in life. I've highlighted the ones I most relate to recently; these verses really are comforting, as they help you keep in perspective the issues/pain you're going through. Thank you, God! =)

Various Song Lyric Quotes

Suddenly I stop but I know it's too late;

I'm lost in the forest, all alone

I'm running towards nothing, again and again and again and again.......

~A Forest . Nouvelles Vauges

Where am I today? I wish that I knew

'Cause looking around there's no sign of you

~

I'm holding my heart out but clutching it too

Feeling this short of a love that we once knew

~Reasons Why . Nickel Creek

We watched the fireworks 'til they were fireflies

Followed a path of stars over the endless skies.

~How Can You Live In The Northeast . Paul Simon

We all begin with good intent

Love was raw and young

We believed that we could change ourselves

The past could be undone

But we carry on our backs the burden

Time always reveals

The lonely light of morning

The wound that would not heal

It's the bitter taste of losing everything

That I have held so dear.

~Fallen . Sarah McLachlan

You took your coat off and stood in the rain

You were always crazy like that

~Foolish Games . Jewel

It's foreign on this side,

And the truth is a bitter friend.

But reasons few have I to go back again.

~This Side . Nickel Creek

Well I can't sleep and I'm not in love

I can't speak without messing up

Eye's tell of what's behind

~

These aren't my words to you

It's all clear when it's not from here

So clear

So I'll try not to speak

~Speak . Nickel Creek

You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on

Don't think twice, it's all right

~Don't Think Twice, It's All Right . Boy Dylan

If you miss the train I'm on, you will know that I am gone

You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.

~500 Miles . Peter Paul & Mary

A willow in spring...the same willow in late winter

We had a fawn in our lillies of the valley patch yesterday! It must have just been born...oh, was it ever darling. It looked so scared, I felt sorry for it. She/it was gone a few hours later however, so I think the mother came back to fetch it, and move it to a safer location. (Apparently they nurse at dawn, hide the fawn for the entire day, then come back to nurse at dusk...all the while luring away predators/eating etc. Quite an interesting process, really.) The odd thing is, that very morning I'd been thinking about 'what if I found a fawn' while on a jog...is that strange or what?!? Anyhow, I was going to name her Luthien...but then she was gone.

A May Picture

I took this photo while a summer storm was on the horizon...such skies always make me think of a certain scene in Tuck Everlasting...:-)

Yesterday evening, I did indeed get more rain--quite the storm, in fact. I had my nose in The Silmarillion and The Two Towers soundtrack blaring, so I failed to notice the DEEPLY grey skies to the west. Once I did, I watched them grow and spread overhead, then lightening began to flash from amongst them. Shortly thereafter, strong winds kicked up, and the rain began. The lightening went on for a long while, much to my delight. It was very atomspheric, once the storm really got going: reading a Tolkien novel by lamplight, listening to The Return of the King soundtrack, while the storm raged without. *grin*
(I listened to the entire trilogy yesterday; I've wanted to do that for quite some time.)

How Can I Not Love You

by Joy Enriquez

Cannot touch, cannot hold

Cannot be together

Cannot love, cannot kiss,

Cannot have each other

Must be strong, and we must let go

Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you?

What do I tell my heart?

When do I not want you here in my arms?

How does one waltz away from all of the memories?

How do I not miss you when you are gone?

Cannot dream, Cannot share,

Sweet and tender moments

Cannot feel how we feel,

Must pretend it's over

Must be brave, and we must go on

Must not say what we've known all along

How can I not love you?

What do I tell my heart?

When do I not want you here in my arms?

How does one waltz away from all of the memories?

How do I not miss you when you are gone?

How can I not love you?

Must be brave, and we must be strong

Cannot say what we've known all along

How can I not love you?

What do I tell my heart?

When do I not want you here in my arms?

How does one waltz away from all of the memories?

How do I not miss you when you are gone?

How can I not love you when you are gone?

~~~~~~

Somehow it's amazing to me that I actually did not write this song, considering how much I can relate to it. Also...quite amazing (and disheartening) that it still hurts to listen to...

"Must be strong, and we must let go/Cannot say what our hearts must know"
&
"Cannot feel how we feel/Must pretend it's over"
...those lines hit me the worst. Wow...I really should stop venting like this publically...but where else can I go? Oh well, I'm alright at the moment; I just shouldn't listen to this song, is all.

This afternoon we had the most glorious rainstorm, the perfect springtime shower: pouring rain, everything-green, and sunlight glowing through the grey clouds, leaving all tinted in light. Mmm...wish it could have gone on and on and on...

I Remember...

I remember it
The yearning,
Tossing-turning
This sickened feeling in the depths of me

I still recall
The agony,
Uncertainty
This longing in my core that goes on and on…

My God
Not again
Not like then
Oh God, already must I suffer once more?

Yet something changed—
Strength follows pain,
The colours drain
Leaving all in black and white which cannot hurt my eyes

I collapse
Free of tears,
And only years
Contain the answer and the key to all the beautiful torment

Dance Like No One's Watching (and they weren't)

Something you should know about me: I never dance. Well, once in a blue moon, some of my friends will get me to do some half-hearted dancing...that lasts maybe a minute...or I'll try my hand at some 'organized' dancing (such as the box step). I wouldn't mind learning to waltz or something someday, but I'll wait till I'm married/engaged for that. :-P
Anyhow...this afternoon I cut loose. I put on I'm Gonna Be (500 miles) by The Proclaimers...and wildly danced all around the basement. Lol...it felt fantastic, and left me breathless. Great exercise; I really should do it more often. (I wonder if that cup of coffee was what inspired me...;-)
So.....that wasn't in the least bit important, but it made me really happy, so there you have it.

~~~~~~~~~~(selections from the above mentioned song)

"When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,

I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles

To fall down at your door

When I'm working, yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you

And when the money, comes in for the work I do

I'll pass almost every penny on to you

When I come home(When I come home), well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you

And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you

And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream

I'm gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you

When I go out(When I go out), well I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

And when I come home(When I come home), yes I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you

I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

But I would walk 500 miles

And I would walk 500 more

Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles

To fall down at your door"

Foresight
by me

Is it ever worth knowing
What if feels like to have your arms
Full, when now you know
What emptiness feels like?

Love can’t be worth
All they say it is
When what you hold later
Is biting, endless craving

A comforting grasp loses
Its comfort when drawn away
Into the darkness without
A single shaft of foresight

"My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Push the door, I'm home at last
And I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
And all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and

...I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life"
~from Thank You by Dido

The hotel alarm (set to any random station) went off at 6:20 this morning...playing this song. What a truly pleasant way to wake up! I really think I woke up in a better mood than I have in quite some time because of it. Not to mention I got a fantastic night's sleep, which is rare indeed for me in a hotel room.
I'm so exhausted...and tonight has been SO rough emotionally *sighs*...may tomorrow morning be like today's...but with a happier ending. =)

PS: thank God the song wasn't Dido's "White Flag"...then my day would definitely have begun with a BAD start, just like this song does...hehe)

“Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each imagined to be his own treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” We can imagine that during those early hunters and warriors single individuals—one in a century? one in a thousand years?—saw what the others did not; saw that the deer was beautiful as well as edible, that hunting was fun as well as necessary, dreamed that his gods might be not only powerful but holy. But as long as each of these percipient persons dies without finding a kindred soul, nothing (I suspect) will come of it; art or sport or spiritual religion will not be born. It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision—it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.”
~From The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

Lately, I've been reading:
The Silmarillion by J.R. Tolkien
Hawthorne: A Life by Brenda Wineapple
And today, by Byron:
The First Kiss of Love
Thou Art Not False, But Thou Art Fickle
Stanza's: Could Love For Ever
To Romance