I Remember...

I remember it
The yearning,
Tossing-turning
This sickened feeling in the depths of me

I still recall
The agony,
Uncertainty
This longing in my core that goes on and on…

My God
Not again
Not like then
Oh God, already must I suffer once more?

Yet something changed—
Strength follows pain,
The colours drain
Leaving all in black and white which cannot hurt my eyes

I collapse
Free of tears,
And only years
Contain the answer and the key to all the beautiful torment