Well, here I am, a student at Fairhaven. Wow. And that's about all I can say at the moment.

PS: oh yeah, and I'm totally jazzed about it. ;-) :-D

Regarding, and the Quest for, Love-Lost
August 2006

Inspired from a suggestion/conversation with friends

We never found James Dean that night
Nor the next, or any
We searched dark alleys in our sight—
The hours spent were many

We delved the embers, glowing red
Till skin was blistered raw
But pain won’t render all ahead—
Our quest left us in awe

The posters did not show his face
Although we missed it so
The wind itself seemed to erase
That voice we used to know

The leaves fell down in springtime
The snowflakes fell in June
Without James Dean to warm our clime
The sun felt like the moon

We never traced James Dean again
We faced the wall by choice
Seeking out the other Men
Who took from us our voice

These memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new...
-In My Life - The Beatles

Things I used my giftcard for at Barnes and Noble:

• The Selected Poetry of Edna St. Vincent Millay
• Selected Poetry of Byron
• A grande banana mocha frappuccino light (on two occasions)
• A 2006/2007 daily planner for college; very pretty with butterflies on it :-)

Here am I, yet another goodbye...
-Enya

Today I bid adieu to two dear friends...won't see them again until Christmas, most likely. The same will go for next week, with MANY other friends...how will I bear this? Ah well, life goes on.
I didn't get much sleep last night, today I feel so dazed and weary. But so far, it's been nice: after one friend left today, the other and I went to a coffee shop and read lots of poetry: two of T.S. Eliot's The Four Quartets and The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, aloud. I was AMAZED at how profound some of Four Quartets is, there was one passage in particular that spoke for nearly everything I feel right now. Shocking. (also shocking: my friend hadn't read The Lady of Shallot yet...)
Mmm that's all for now. Oh, and I wrote a very strange poem last night. I wonder if I should post it.

Went to a really neat Irish concert tonight; not only was it located on a beautiful college campus, but also.......I just adore Celtic music. (lol, don't you love it when your thought wants to follow through, but can't quite?)

Currently reading:
The Bostonians by Henry James--about 1/3 way through so far
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky--disturbing and brilliant, and I've just begun!
I'd like to finish both of these before I leave for school, and also perhaps A Grief Observed and... we'll see what else.

Last night at 11 I went out on the deck in the light rain, to sit down and think. It ended up pouring, which made me very happy indeed, and I was able to spend some quality prayer time with God. :-) Life holds such lovely, unexpected surprises...

Breathe, Inspired

2006

The darkness melds with starlight
Soon stars will melt to dawn
Just hold me through the night
Until the pain is gone

If only I could feel
If only I could love
Then in would hope soft steal
And I could rise above

I’m used to nights alone
Within a cage of cream
Nothing learned or known—
A nightmare: not a dream

If only I could feel
Oh if only I could love!
Then I would learn to heal
Soon to rise above

But now, you’re next to me
And morning’s less desired
In safety, I am free
To live and breathe, inspired

The Silencing Hour
July 26, 2006

The silencing hour
When to speak
Is to sin

The undying weight
The crushing burden
Of a hush

The truth is irrelevant
You’re expected to thrive
In the quiet

Count yourself welcome
In this, the silencing hour
Of muted dusk